Desmond McCain

Vital Statistics

  • Age: UNKNOWN
  • Nationality: BRITISH
  • Occupation: FOUNDER OF FIRST AID


Desmond McCain was brought up in an orphanage in east London after being abandoned in a supermarket trolley, wrapped in a plastic bag - McCain Oven Chips. He was fostered and did well at sport in school. By the time he was eighteen, he had become a famous boxer until he got knocked out by an opponent and got his jaw broken. He went into business and even into politics - but his property business was failing and he decided to set fire to one of the properties to claim on the insurance. McCain was arrested and sent to prison, and while he was in prison he converted to Christianity. Now known as Reverend McCain, he has seemingly turned his life around, and put all of his newly found money into his charity called First Aid.


Imposingly tall, with the build of a boxer. After an accident in the boxing ring his jaw was badly broken. McCain went to a plastic surgeon who badly botched the operation, leaving McCain only able to eat liquid food through a straw.

Current Status

Throwing fundraisers for his charity First Aid. See Crocodile Tears for full report.